hotel room ftw
We're hooking up, I have a toothbrush at her place, and yet on leaving her apartment a minute ago we said goodbye with a hi five. WTF?
You're upset about this?
I'm jammin out to some Brit Birt, she's still my bitch, I love her crazy ass
I'm pretty sure that every show on ABC Family could be turned into a drinking game.
I think I just saw the silver monkey from legends of the hidden temple sitting out in someone's trash
GO. BACK. NOW.
Also, I once came to the conclusion after this one boy, that her pleasure condoms are a college boys version of flowers
i saw his dick when we were four, so thats kind of ruined for me now
How was the bike ride?
Nope. High in the basement. Fruit cups.
think they'd let him outta jail for my wedding? we could have him back by like midnight....
There's a point around the one and a half minute mark where the keg stand goes from impressive to pathetic
you put your hands over the taxi driver's eyes and shouted GUESS THE WAY TO THE CLUB
I GOT A VENDING MACHINE FOR OUR LIVING ROOM
What? My family got wasted on patron and I threw up on my pants and said it was gravy. Hot mess.
his first fb message to me in 3 years was "is your cock open for business?" im blocking him
Hey I need you to run the morning meeting, for reasons I can explain when I find out where I left my car
Randomize
