I'm sorry for what I said earlier...your vagina wouldn't look funny If you had a kid.
Motor boating, judging by the amount of lipstick I found I would say between 6 to 8 times
Just transferred the sun chips from that obnoxious Eco-friendly bag into a zip lock. Fuck the environment, that bag is loud.
DONT TAKE THE KEG OUT OF THE HOT TUB I NEED A PICTURE OF ME DOING A KEG STAND ON IT
I feel like butter and tequila would be excellent combination. Right now. Please do this in my name.
Sorry I disappeared. Do you hate me?
Not at all, did you not hear me clapping outside your car on our way out?
preface to our conversation: my vagina hurts.
I think if you have sex on the couch it will psychologically damage it.
Clothes make me feel like a responsible adult and that's just not something I'm ready to handle.
He ripped down his Kate Upton poster while we were having sex last night. Im gonna take that as a good sign.
No one with a hairstyle like that is allowed to insult anyone for anything
The dicks good but it's not two trains and a bus good.
You kept saying “keke” over and over so I slapped you then you proceeded to ask if I loved you. In case you’re wondering why you have a black eye - Lauren
he said to "slap him" after he guessed the time correctly. i did.
Honestly, you can’t tell the whole sorority he has a donkey dick and expect that no one would sleep with him after you broke up
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