There is no way to make a throwing up smiley so just picture it....
You know, as long as there were ice cream breaks, I would totally eat chips for a living.
I guess there's some 16 and under softball tournament and they all are at my work. what is a 21 year old to do?
The responsible thing...show them the break room.
So then the officer asked you how you were getting home and you told him "very carefully"
Ummmm yeah ..,.. All three girlfriends I have right now are chatting with each other at the party...... I'll see you on the other side
is it sad that i can describe this night as "the night that i was sober" and we all know which night it was. like literally one night of sobriety.
he got a rim job in the basement.
apparently i was the one who gave it to him.
Apparently I covered myself in sunscreen before I went to bed. Im just assuming that due to the fact I found an empty bottle of sunblock
You have to start asking people if they're gay before you kiss them..
Just got a 200 dollar safe, two jars, and a 500 pack of rubber bands.. This doesn't SCREAM drug dealer does it?
...you should fill the cart some more
Just because the energy drink is shaped like a grenade doesnt make it cool to throw it and yell "BOOM" and break my flatscreen, asshole
He caught a cramp during sex and I was like "do you want me to get you a banana?" And he responded with "I'll give you a banana" and kept going. I'm marrying him.
Woke up with champagne in my hair and honey mustard on my hands. Strangely, I'm okau with this
Basically I think I'm replacing men/sex with theme parks.
Some guy I'd never met and didn't invite threw the punch bowl at the wall and set the plastic skeleton on fire. I don't think we'll be getting the full deposit back
Randomize
