He toold me that when we were younger I was his boner buddy.
I'm driving in the middle of nowhere, and I just saw a stuffed Barney hanging from a noose on a tree. Maybe I should turn around.
Im sick of reading dumb tattoos while having sex
Washing the last semen-stained shirt you have really solidifies a breakup. It just got real.
please hurry. your mom just evil laughed to herself in the kitchen like she's plotting my death.
Umm you don't wanna know how many "I'm sorry for calling you last night" fb wallposts I just had to write...
drunk me is my new role model. he's fearless. like not even afraid of tornadoes.
we're stoned watching those roller coaster simulators w our hands up screaming on our couch
I will suppress my appetite by doing shots then passing out
Pretty sure I scared him off for good. The lesbian in me is ecstatic.
soo...what's the appropriate way to ask to come over and take your S&M lingerie out of your ex's apartment? big weekend planned, kinda need it.
went out last night. woke up with a lisp.
I just had to explain my bite marks to my allergy doctor when she gave me my shots...You're the best <3
the guy had "bad bitches only" tattooed above his penis...
on a scale from 1 to "can't put a toothbrush in your mouth without gagging" how hungover are you?
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