sorry about calling you the devil all night.
Reggie can tackle my bush.
they're using the ping pong table for ping pong. it's weird
relax...and go to your happy place, which probably has a lot of dicks
When she e-mailed me back asking for proof, complete with hospital intake records, I just told her it was a home-birth. I'm prepared to take the fail.
Just hit him with your car. I can guarantee he won't do it again.
What did he say? I couldn't hear him over the sound of how awesome his beard is.
Was there a Canadian at your party or did I dream that?
Was booty called last night and I was so blacked out that my roomie made me puke before going to "eye of the tiger." Why I'm still single is beyond me
A valentines day commercial would come on while I'm masturbating...
Sorry, I was trapped in a small closet behind a washer. What's up?
Is selling savings bonds for acid money something a normal person does?
Let's just say it was like a porno version of Aladdin....
3 weeks in a row I've pulled '69' at the deli counter...God is giving me shit for not getting laid in a year....
So someone just asked us for our kidneys?!?
Randomize
