i just had sex bonerless
GOOD IDEA: Stealing the bike a couple blocks away so I don't have to walk. BAD IDEA: riding bike for the first time in years drunk as hell. I'm bleeding and my body hurts and once again I can't find my car.
Is it standard protocol to defriend someone after they give you chlamydia?
The new google images is a smorgasbord of porn now are plans for tonight are off.
$1 margaritas. This happy hour needs to end.
i know and i thought i was only capable of loving dick and drugs, im so happy
saying that you may be able to suck the gay out of me was just my way of getting a blowjob...thank you for the valiant effort.
I don't know at which point last night turned terribly, terribly wrong, but it was somewhere around Motel 6, specifically the parking lot.
I will pre answer that I did not see it the fun way. He was peeing outside.
I woke up to a full mcdonalds meal being shoved in my face. Mom mustve noticed the empty tequila bottle. I love family.
My body is like , remember when you wouldn't let me puke last night? Good luck at work fucker.
possibly one of my favorite moments was wiping it off your nose after you high fived a bouncer
I have weed and a speedo - I don't need anything else.
I CAN SEE SO MANY PENISES. There are so many visible penises here.
Where are you???
Yoga class :(
Then it hit me - his penis wasn't a shiny new toy anymore and I wanted a new one.
Randomize
