think im gonna go get a six pack before class and sit in the back of the room...
I dreamt I won the Huge Cock Championship last night. It was glorious.
Watching intervention at a bar. Who let this happen??
so,apparently a side effect from having sex on the beach is now i have a tanline shaped like your sister
i hate you
picked up a girl by parallel parking. i love this town already.
Oh my god! She wrote the word ''hi'' in HAIR on the shower wall. What the fuck?!
i walked in and you were spoon feeding your sister grape juice out of a tupperware.
We shoved chex mix between her tits for her own survival.
I gave you head at the stadium on a Thursday night ESPN game. That damn well better be worth points on the score board!!!
I walked in and saw him spread eagle on the couch beatin it, while he just pet the dog that sat there and stared. mom was pissed
Dylan just paid 30 bucks to have himself wrapped in the clear plastic they wrap luggage in at the airport. Bring scissors.
If I ever go to jail it will be because of you, I can feel it.
Once he bit me I drew the fucking line.
How awkward is it to have the guy you used to sleep with congratulate you on your engagement? I'll tell you. Very.
Yeah I either headbutted a street sign while texting or I defended you two from an evil gang of nazi muggers. I was black out so I am gonna assume it was option b.
Randomize
