Bel-fucking-mar, this place has more popped collars than a Hollister catalog
I finally had kitchen counter sex! i was so excited
he just said he'd buy the porn
its a step up from the last guy
If it wasnt for my iphone and loopt, I would still be wandering the streets in a drunken stooper. Thanks Steve Jobs.
no i did not stop my best friend from eating out my sister...bros before hoes
i don't think it's normal to still be missing spring break.
I have a plus one for the Blackout Express, should I pen in your name?
You drank everything last night. It was like this huge deconstructed long island that went on for 5 hours
We just had a sexually tense moment where we both chose the trough the pee. I love gay clubs.
I fucking love my neighbors. I offered him chocolate and somehow it turned into a sexual proposition.
It's a "nonproductive" (vocab word) cough. It's like a constant tickle in my throat, like there's a little elf with feathers for feet going Gangnam style on my "uvula" (vocab word).
Is it bad that when someone says the phrase "helicopter dick" I immediately think of you?
I got inside last night via doggy door
Honestly, this is a first for me. I've always prided myself on my ability to pretend to get along with others.
Yes, the maid of honor did just deep throat the mic during the toast. How do I follow that?
Randomize
