So his roomate was eating breakfast when I was sneaking out. He's the guy I took home from jessicas wedding. I ended up eating coco puffs with him
Just another sign I need to get out of this town
Dude, this place has 10% alcohol beer on tap. It's like God's semen.
Strippers tramp stamp says "mom"
He came on my chest. Sat back and said "hey it sorta looks like lake michigan!" kill me now...
I just remember being in the bathroom alone cussing out the bunny
I missed rounds this morning...my senior resident hooked me up to and IV and made me stay in the clinic because he said I didn't look presentable enough to walk around the hospital
I work 80 hours a week to prevent myself from just laying in bed and masturbating all day. It's a hands off strategy.
But seriously I might need help getting spray paint off of my body.... But don't worry about the penis I scrubbed him already
I should be trashily making out with an air force cadet in the beach volleyball court by now
Just because I'm sleeping with him doesn't mean I'm in love with him, it means that I want to have sex with someone who isn't a serial killer.
ok so you're 100% sure this time that he isn't your ex in disguise again?
it was all good until mid make out when he announced 'i just came'. ...he wasn't joking.
You can't say that. Only if you have peed on the side of the highway in daylight while signing Christmas songs can you say that.
My first hangover at work. I'm officially an adult.
At this point, I would not mind getting hit by a truck. It would mean I could get this over with quicker.
Randomize
