It's like a choose-your-own-adventure. But the adventure is already chosen for you. And it sucks.
I love how my cats smell like pot.
Do you think it would be a good idea to mention in my admissions essay that I was the guy that streaked across the soccer field last year?
Did I at antime last saturday slip away and sign up for a prayer circle?
I fell asleep with all the lights and heat on in the apartment with windows open, Earth Hour is lost on people like me.
sleazy september. first one with mono loses.
I'm spoon feeding myself tequila for breakfast, should we skip class today?
It was worse than that time I did shots of BBQ sauce and pierced my own ear with a thumbtack
All I wanted was a quiet evening to masturbate and eat cake and instead you ruined it by bringing girls over.
Sunday is the day of rest.
As in, whatever liquor is left after last night, you have to drink the rest.
We've cranked the heat for blizzard versions of all of our strip games. Come over.
Is the party worth it?
I am drink. Beer pony and singing.
I DESERVE A BEADED TATTOOED MAN I'VE WANTED ONE FOR SO LONG
BEARDED TATTOOED MEN ARE PEOPLE AND NOT THINGS TO BE GIVEN FREELY
we were all too drunk to realize that the cat wasnt yours
Unless your name is actually "Ticfj" like my phone says, I have no idea who you are...
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