i was so high last night that i actually googled "how to get un high"
if you ask that question again our friendship is over
Put your dick on his face to wake him up, dont worry its fine.
I just sat through a State Farm mortgage Insurance commercial to watch a Trick Daddy video. Is this the target audience they are going for here?
No... No really he actually thought the condom was meant for his hand...
Too high to move please buy hi-c and pour it in my mouth in exchange I will marry your first born child
Thanks, college. Tonight's decisions brought to you by margs in a nalgene.
She said my new name was "ranch" because I "looked delicious"
Do you know of any good hiding spots in the Atlanta area?
No we don't really celebrate valentines day, we just use it as an excuse to drink 3 bottles of red wine and fuck for a few hours.
Whenever you're sad about your life, just remember that I'm on a first name basis with the late night taco bell drive-thru workers.
Fuck romance. Just shaved my nipples in the shower because I felt like it. That's the life I'm about.
I'm giving head in a stairwell, I'll be back in a few minutes. I'm so ashamed.
Hella random but just hear me out...A bar that is a petting zoo. Bitches love petting zoos.
I just had all of the sex. All of it.
She ripped her shorts off and yelled "VAGINA TIME!"
Randomize
