Hey I found your number in my phone i dont remember how we met this is richard btw
strange i dont have your number must have been a drunk thing
could be more
absolutely not
we better have passed that bar exam - i dont want to have to drink like this again
omg i forgot michael madsen was in free willy this is the most epic movement of my stoned life
You put your red cup in a chain link fence and kept telling me you could use it as a telescope
Just took my first sake bomb. I love japan
We talked about all of the sex positions that would better allow him to feed me grapes. I think I'm in love.
As added birth control I warned him that if he knocked me up tonight I would name the baby Truck.
He was hiding behind my bedroom door. at noon. Wearing a t shirt. And a condom. Not attractive.
I should have questioned it early on when they said bring beer and chocolate syrup
Things are burning & the world smells of peanut butter. It's beautiful.
The crooked penis I maybe could have looked past...but no foreplay? Deal breaker.
guess who got crunk and thought it would be a good idea to give herself a pixie cut?
THOUGHT
Here's a concept though: eating pasta while getting laid
I remember being like "I can't hold both of you guy's hair back!" so I put headbands on each of you
Get over here and bring your drill!!! The strippers next door need help installing a stripper pole by their pool
Randomize
