omg omg i just fucked paul. i need to stop doing this kind of thing.
wait, who's paul?
exactly.
im pretty sure i just saw someone trying to catch a fish with his penis
Cruel joke of nature. Hair on head runs from face, and hides on various parts of body. Aging sucks.
I woke up at 2 in my clothes with a defrosted steak in my pocket, no drinky this week at all.
i think she is mad at you for trying to take a shit in the back seat of her car
I'm sorry but all I really read was "my nipples will get hard."
apparently i told her i wouldn't press charges if she brought me food.
At the same time. Hot men feeding me brownies. In between rounds of sex.
It's never too late to be topless.
He broke hus nose arm jousting with the traffic cones... We need to make head shots illegal or get helmets or something
Just know I'm having fun but I still have my motor functions.
That's right. I did.
You are the saddest 25 year old gay man I've ever had the displeasure of knowing.
Hooray! My email address wasn't leaked by Ashley Madison!
I will chop off your penis
Should I be worried if two ants just crawled out of my purse?
Yes!
OH DEAR GOD IT GOT IN MY MOUTH AGAIN HELP
Randomize
