During sex she told me I could do anything I wanted to her. You remember that toy lightsaber we bought at Wal Mart?
I learned an important lesson last night: Jameson giveth, but Jameson also taketh away.
Cruelly.
He was sitting at the table eating ice and said, "I'm pretty sure everyone in my family has nipples."
I don't know, But i remember him licking ecstasy off my boobs and my boyfriend cheering him on
Pretty sure even her dog was surprised when I got that blow job.
Don't feel bad sweetie, you're not the only classy one in town. I'm still driving around with that tupperware of tequila in my cup holder from last week's Margarita Monday.
Well the streets were closed, so it was okay for me to just lay down for a little bit.
Apparently I was proudly showing him the cup I barfed pizza rolls into
Wet should excavate the hamsters out of the front yard n give them a proper burial.
Do you want me to add this to the list of actions I will state at your intervention
Well, I crapped my pants in front of her entire family, was laughed out of their house, and I had to walk home with shit stained pants. So, yeah, it went really well.
I hate when pubes grow back. My mons is a warzone.
I vomited out my contact lenses last night
Could someone explain to me why there were 40 individually wrapped burritos in the fridge when I woke up this morning?
I am afraid of asking him for his new number so I continue to text the one that's no longer in service.
Randomize
