Dude you spent the last hour of the night in the bathroom crying, asking someone why you will never be as smart as Mr.Feeney from boy meets world.
He kept his baseball cap on when he went down on me...
I think "I actually like giving blow jobs better" qualifies her as a keeper
Apparently, we were running around the apartment, singing into pickles, the routinely slapped our passed out friends with them.
Small children cheering my name. I am not a decent enough human being to feel comfortable with this.
you were trying to convince me that you weren't drunk by grabbing my shoulders, looking deeply into my eyes and saying "i can see your sparkle"
I wish I could just hang out in ERs.
I beat my mom's friend's boyfriend in a vodka chugging competition. Our generation FTW.
Bud light lime after 12 shots of vladdy is like frolickin in a meadow of sweet flavor
I was thinking that, but I'm not sure the proper etiquette on asking about someone's nipple rings. Even if you did see them and compliment them once.
I just explained my sex life to the "if you give a moose a muffin" book... Is that weird?
I remember sitting in your lap naked saying I don't want to be all looks while you gently rocked me back and forth
He told me he wished he could shrink down to a small size so he could live inside my cleavage
I don't trust him but hanging out with him might be fun
he's literally satan but yeah probably
I know right? It's like he knows how to pleasure me better than I do myself... He's like a prophet of sex
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