Dude, I don't think I'll ever be able to find a girl for me...
Is this the gay conversation?
I just puked into a plastic bag at a red light. Go me.
He came on me while singing crank dat like soulja boy, fuck our sex life has reached a whole new level of low
gpnpr hd vmdd nm the ggrl whm was mn my lar
I need you to use more vowels.
She greeted me with a new giants jersey and an opening day blowjob. this is true love.
the coastal evacuation route ends at my vagina so you can just skip the bullshit and come over
I'm doing somethin that's never been done before...the 10 am booty call come over
He's trying to marry me, when is the appropriate time to tell him my real name and that Dallas is a completely fictitious slutty alter ego? I need the advice of someone with morals.
We lost power at midnight which freaked out my roomate and friends. The power came back on 30 minutes later. We are now at the bar having "the rapture came and we were left behind" shots
I have a hunch Mama J got around.
Am I allowed to say that about my own mom?
Why did you just send me a picture of your dinner?
CAUSE LOOK HOW MUCH SPAGHETTI I'M EATING
I cannot be with a girl who won't let me come home on my lunch break, eat spicy ranch and watch Breaking Bad without pants on. #lesbianproblems
His name is Angel. I'm pretty sure he was sent from heaven solely to eat me out.
I just want to be like "i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it"
You don't have to buy me dinner, watch tv or even hang out if you don't want. Just fuck.
Randomize
