She is in my trunk
I DON'T KNOW WHERE WE ARE WE ARE TOO FUCKING ELEVATED.
Me either! Fuck yeah, 12th and something. 12th and hamburger stand.
Did you dl zombie porn on my computer?
I don't know how to tell my mom that I'm not sober enough to drive to the dentist...
he borrowed my computer and saw his name in my recent google searches. Things got awkward real fast.
Its kinda awkward hearing him say the food taste like ass considering what he did last night.
whiskey dick. though we did manage to break my closet door and flood the bathroom.
If a man doesnt have the ability to fuck you well on a small climbing wall, I don't think he deserves you.
How do I explain the handcuffs and tanning goggles on our living room floor? There's rope too. The cats love the rope.
Hey my results were negative. Your chlamydia train stops here. Happy hunting!
He gave me my financial savings if I invested with him while I was giving him a bj.
Watching the series finale of Friends and crying in my Thai food. I don't like hangover Jared.
I didn't know how to commemorate his death, so I snorted a fat line off of his obituary. Rest in peace.
I swam, I rode a bicycle, I rode a horse, I danced. It was like a real life tampon advert.
So I'm buying milk, bread, yogurt & lube. Not awkward at all
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