I solve my problems like an adult, at the strip club drinking on a work night.
sitting with a guy who's looking at the cum stains on the bed. Do you think he's convinced it's from the cat?
No. He thinks you're slutty.
hahaha he is wasted in math class right now and is drawing all the planets in order from the sun
Dude, Taco Bell gave me a free fiesta potatoes when I won a bet on wether I could fit the entire rim of a cup in my mouth.
She looked at me and said "i like penises." and then passed out with her condom balloon animal in her hands.
I an in a belgian bar and i cant understand shit. Trying to talk to strangers. Getting drunk until we all speak the same language. Brace for updates.
There was a cop outside the house so we just put the alcohol in this watermelon
Chris used to fill up a Camel Back for thirsty Thursday. God I really miss him, do you remember when he gets out of jail?
Well I was thinking of taking him out for drinks then lecturing him about his drinking... kind of like an open minded intervention
Have I showed you the picture of my vagina with a little bang flag coming out of it?
My one regret (beside the inevitable shit storm that followed) is that now I can't fuck his cute friend.
We were cuddling in his bed and I asked him a question and followed by making a microphone with my hand and told him to speak into it. If he never talks to me again that's probably why.
I am never drinking with the goths again.
Excuse me I just made a hot pocket without burning down the house, I think i can do anything.
Sex was followed by homemade breadsticks. I waited till after the breadsticks were gone to tell her i had a gf.
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