i don't know how boys match. i think shoes & belt are the only thing. it doesn't matter. i just know if they look stupid.
Whats contracted in vegas does not stay in vegas....
soo I had sex last night and he wore a condom, pulled out sans condom. we looked everywhere and couldnt find it, even in my vag. so Im in the library at school and I googled it and it gave me "gentle digging" techniques, and sure enough, found it. ew. I'll be purchasing Plan B after class.
we've been at disney 20 seconds and she already got the cops called over
Using pokemon references during sexual acts is always a good idea.
I only make drug deals in a British accent. It's my way of making sure it doesn't get too sketch.
only 75% of american men are circumcised...i guess this was bound to happen to me someday.
Just found out my mom's voicemail password is 6969..
he tried to breastfeed my turtle
Did I happen to mention where i left my keys when I drunk dialed you last night
TAKE ALL THE MAERHMALLOWS AND PUT THEM ALL IN THE MAGICAL NIGHTSTAND
Do you always skip to "Baby Got Back" when fat girls show up at the bar?
I woke up with a dick pic from the ex-Mormon via email. Not really what I wanted to see before my first cup of coffee this morning, but I gotta say, I'm impressed.
Just to let you know we went to the circus yesterday...in case you didn't remember
She made kool-aid with tequila instead of water and rolled a blunt about the size of an Oscar Mayer hot dog. Best blind date I've ever had. I think I will love her tell my dieing day!
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