Small Doughy Asian men and sleeveless hoodies with nothing underneath do not mix well.
Sounds like the climatic scene of my favorite erotic novel.
yeah she was being a bitch. do you remember me stealing ryan cabrerra's beer?!?!
Is it bad that when my prof gave examples of "stalking" behavior, I either have done or would do most of them?
his facial hair looked like he just ate out someone's ass
I sent out a mass text that said "margaritas for Jesus?" and nobody responded, worst Easter ever.
i feel like our whole relationship was one big acid trip
you were crying while pretty ricky was playing, what did you want me to do
Between cock and motorcycle I'm glad I don't have to sit at work tomorrow
still drunk. talking shit to the doc drawing my blood. this has no upside
just found $310, wrapped in a rubber band, at the bottom of my sock drawer with a note attached stating, "Make it rain".
Get in the lobby, you have to sign my boxers
I think I love you, but I may be biased because we had pirate sex.
currently pooping in a public restroom while drinking free beer. there has never been a finer line between awesome and depressing.
hurry up this bar wont let me order big pitchers of beer for just myself
I'm afraid I might run into that fat chick that sucked on me in the hospital parking lot while her friend cried in the car next to us, but I may be willing to take that chance.
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