I woke up at 5am and he was watching me sleep... Come get meee!!??
If someone cleans their bathroom and shaves their crotch for you you kinda have to admit the relationship to facebook
I drunk wandered into my parents bed and slept between them
SLUTTIEST. 4TH. EVER.
By the end of the cruise, there was literally nothing in our room he hadn't peed on.
i just remember explaining why my socks were better than everyone elses.
For Halloween this year I'm going to paint myself in gold, wear a golden toga and sash saying " cunt goddess"
I was so high I started singing Let It Go and then instantly started laughing 'cause I was eating ice. Everyone just stared.
I may have just tried to argue quantum entanglement as the reason I was still in her bed.
I would reevaluate a bf who is happy with other guys doing me.
He was 6'5 and wearing a kilt, how could I not fuck him
How can you tell that you're blacked out ?
You can feel it in your nipples.
tonight...tonight im having sex in honor of you
Decided to stay sober a couple days, learned how exceptionally stupid my coworkers are. Might have to quit now. Moral of the story:be careful where you go sober.
The guy i took home was a circus freak. He jerked off 3 times in front me after we had sex. And he came every time.
Randomize