Yeah. I woke up naked in his bed this morning and remember saying "Get a condom cuz I can't afford an abortion right now" last night. He didn't run. He's a keeper
my tampon string is in my asshole... do you think i can get it out without anyone noticing?
i'd get off the bar first.
The boys in front of me put beer, red plastic cups, ping pong balls, lighterfluid, and twelve packs of pantyhose on the conveyor belt. Whatever drinking game they're playing, I want a part in.
I feel like everything in this room is sweating
Alright, my brain isn't sure how to properly function on a Wednesday with no hangover and more than 3 hours of sleep.
Ita all starting to make sense i need vodka like i need air
Plus now I feel weird sleeping with you. It's like shooting a three legged deer. It's already at a disadvantage and couldn't get what it's full potential deserves.
I just threw up vodka and hot dogs in a handicapped stall with someone in it who couldn't make me leave because he couldn't walk.
woke up and somehow me leather belt got torn in half. either we partied with the hulk or some chick just could not wait to see my dick. probably the former tho
I pretended to be blind and he pretended to be my assistant and long story short, we had to buy that bra and panty set, and now we're both banned from Victoria's Secret AND I have a cum stained demi cup.
We had sex to Hey Arnold, Rugrats, and All That. I feel like my life has come full circle.
Drunk me left sober me a shower beer in expectation of Hurricane Harvey. Drunk me is the best.
I need an honest answer, no judgements. Would it make me a bad person if I fucked the other twin?
so he found out i have him as "average size" in my phone. fair to say we arnt going to be dating anymore
never have sex with a mint flavored condom on. my vagina is on fire.
Randomize