Best walk of shame ever. Not only did I not remember his name or the fact that we fucked, they all watched as I tried to get into 3 cars that werent mine
Oh and I threw up on myself...
Wow, being the totally hot and slutty looking 30 year old lady on the dance floor does NOT necessarily mean that she has skills in bed.
I am in the hospital with a broken wrist because a guy told me that if I punched him it "wouldn't hurt." it hurt. me. Thank you 11 jello shots.
i can't decided whether the fact that her nipples are bigger then her palms is a problem or not
This isnt meant to be as creepy as it sounds, but do you seriously want a lock of the hair I cut off?
We almost forgot to tip the maids, so we left the rest of the gin, some tonic water and a lime. They earned it
I tried to bribe him with road head and his toothbrush.
I found a lucrative side business - giving rides home to drunk oil executives. Very profitable.
I can't help but feel like we would be friends still if my phone didn't always capitalize BUTTLOAD...
I woke up and found cookies in my purse. It's a 12/12/12 miracle.
Who knew wearing a toga outside would provide for and infinite amount of dick to choose fron
Basically taped my dick down because it's too obvious in this costume...
Well, I can't remember Thursday and my left ass cheek hurts like hell, I'm guessing Mike's bachelor party was a success.
I'm currently watching porn and playing beer pong with wine in the lobby of a hotel with a squadron of hot airforce guys. You can never say your life is better than mine again
Your dick. My mouth. We have 20 minutes.
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