What should our trivia night team be named?
Define Statutory
Is it weird that I miss finding cum in my bed?
I am now the proud owner of a 10-12 year old's Optimus Prime costume from Walmart. Tomorrow is going to be a good day.
i just like, need to vent to someone
Can we skip the part where I pretend to care and fast forward to the appreciative blowjob from you?
I dont even remember coming home... All my stuff is strewn randomly around my apartment... And I woke up at 5 sitting propped up in my bed with just my arm in a shirt
Or I could just give you a blow job and make it up to you.
No, that's okay. Don't worry about it.
Going once.....twice.........sold to the girl who didn't really wanna do it anyway.
Here's the thing, you got road head in two different cars tonight. You feel lucky yet?
I was afraid someone would drug test my pants so you set them on fire.
I saw him and didn't have sex with him. Responsibility five!
I actually feel bad for him. He has me as a girlfriend and he's like a saintly cleanly person... And I'm over here telling him to jizz on my back and shit.
He saved that picture of my boobs for good luck romance still exists
The only people who really get me are strippers and mascots for sports teams.
his penis was like the majestic horn of a unicorn and I came like a million trumpeting rainbows.
how do you politely tell someone their toddler looks alarmingly similar to the berries and cream guy
I mean go ahead and let your freak flag fly but if you could not fly it in my bed that would be great
Randomize
