belinda wants 2 know wr u got ur butt pads
i dont wear butt pads that thang is au naturel
Yeah...right...LMAO
i woke up in the fire place with a lighter in my hand. if i would have died the night would have made up for it.
I just bought condoms at Big Lots. please save this text so you can laugh at me in 9 months
The girl who overdosed in the bathroom at work is back....help?
All i remember is Liz dragging me home yelling at me, crying, and barfing
I went to pick my brother up downtown and I stopped at a red light a homeless old man comes up knocks on the window shows me his penis and then screams money
You okay?
I walked into work with a banana and a loaf of bread
If our text convos ever saw the light of day lives would be in tatters
Germany has fetish clubs for everything. We are going to Germany. Germany is our friend.
So doing the math I dated almost 2 of me in penises. Like, if I you layed them out lengthwise it would be 2 times my height.
It's the best! If I had one wish it would be for life to be one really long gay porno. Thats what I wish for during every 11:11.
Currently rolling a blunt in the bathroom of Planned Parenthood
He's got the good dick trifecta - flip phone, works outside, bed with no headboard.
He wrote his entire dissertation last night. I can only imagine the frightening amount of headway he would make if he ever did things sober.
And somehow i feel like your expectations will turn out to be illegal in some way.
Randomize
