I found those 18 whoppers we bought.
There needs to be a newsfeed for phones... A list of all my drunken calls, texts, BBMs, new contacts, pictures sent AND received, all in chronological order.
I feel like a really awesome person when i have to check my roof for things i've lost
All inclusive resorts are actually just places that livers go to die.
that bad?
u-n-l-i-m-i-t-e-d. f-r-e-e. t-e-q-u-i-l-a.
damn. i can't believe how fast that went from 0 to lesbian
Just pulled a muscle trying to take a naked pic. I think it's time to start working out again.
I just got back to our room ....neither of us spent the night there but both our beds are occupied. send help.
Thank god I didn't get free from the hospital restraints. I wouldent have lasted long drunk, startled and in an ass-less gown In D.C.
It's twenty thirteen and the rando and I bonded over the fact that we're both stil using flip phones. Of course I fucked him in the bathroom. It was the obvious thing to do.
Dude. I've been high for so many hours now that I'm just accepting this as my new reality.
You brought a jar of mayonnaise to bed. It doesn't get any worse than that.
I've never wanted anyone to have herpes as I much as I want him to right now.
You sluts I'm so proud of you. You're both wearing underwear.
Definitely woke up.this morning to a random girls head in my toilet and her mom knocking on my door.
MY TITS JUST CAUSED A CAR ACCIDENT ON THE HIGHWAY! i kid you not!! i thinl the giy is actually dead
Randomize
