I want to stick my p in your. b.
I didnt pay $190 for a fake with a new middle name of Vane..
This is a mass text. Does anyone know where I am?
Whyyyyy do my fingers smell like Chinese food.
you described his penis as a "portable fishing pole"
Do me a favor. Next time I think it's a good idea to take pulls from the handle, yell "FALCON PUNCH" and uppercut me in the taint. My future liver thanks you.
He asked me to hum the Ghost Busters theme song as I was going down on him
Thanks for the cold. I shartted and sat through a whole soccer game. James made 3 scores.
There's something very strange about masturbating in a hotel room. I feel like I'm cheating on my room...
You know it was a good night when you're lying on the couch in your pjs at 4pm having a pitcher of ice water for breakfast.
Great sex, the promise of us mixing our excellent genetics in the future, and access to drugs are mainly what's holding this relationship together at the moment
Full disclosure. I fucked the fatty from work and shit is weird now.
Like you know your sex life is in a downward spiral when your best friend offers to sext you from Ireland
All I know is that I got to have an orgasm yesterday during sex so nobody can put a damper on my day, NOBODYYYYYY
My mom has tinder, she is 45 and has her age setting at 18-29. And she still gets more matches than me
Randomize
