thank god he doesn't hang out with everyone else i've had sex with
well, yeah, he can't fit the whole neighborhood in his apartment
Cruel joke of nature. Hair on head runs from face, and hides on various parts of body. Aging sucks.
my little brother just caught me blowing my step cousin in the lobby bathroom at our family reunion
I wonder why dictionaries dont have indexes to help find the words easier.
I understand. Hypothetically what should one do after throwing up in the shower?
Not even the dog will look at me anymore.
There is a 15" subwoofer mounted inside our fridge. I've never been more proud of myself.
i get the sense she is planing new and exciting ways to physically harm me during sex
I like how he had to correct himself in stating that I was the fat one in the threesome.
It's time for everyone's favorite Wednesday night game... WHEEL OF. VODKA!!!!!
If you want me to retract my crazy cat lady comments pictures of yourself dressed as a cat are not the way to do it.
I'm scared because his knowledge of star trek is turning me on
We just fucked each other sober. #goteam
you never keep up with shots anymore
I'm trying to be more responsible these days
you fucking tried to take your pants off and pee in Taco Bell's parking lot
Just don’t be like me and break up between Christmas and NYE and then get blackout on NYE and puke in your undies.
Randomize
