haha it's okay then, bc he only killed a canadian, they're not real people
Found out that no one else got Christmas bonuses...and you said nothing good could come from sleeping with my boss.
Tomorrow is Have Sex and Climb A Mountain Day. We have amazing dates.
after she rolled over and said 'i'm so glad you're like my gay best friend, love you' then left. did i just get friendzoned AFTER sex??
He just kept repeating "not with an octopus" over and over for hours. Soooooo Porn Dare was a succes.
One minute you were celebrating, the next you were bleeding all over your Nikes.
We decided to try to steal hot dogs but it ended up with me punching him in the face and crying. Pretty solid night
She came so hard that after she finished, she started a slow clap and then told me she pulled a muscle.
Apparently asking your girlfriends roommate for a hand job when u craw into the wrong bed after a bottle of rum is "bad form".
I'll do my best. he just keeps yelling beer and doing dick helicopters
You could totally spank that new found Catholicism out of him.
Dave is getting a lap dance to the venga boys
this is not a drill
If you think I'm not petty enough to drive to your house at 3 in the goddamn morning just to punch you, you underestimate me.
I stole $10 from the guy I hooked up with last night.Not sure why but it was definitely more satisfying.
We were fucking in the bedroom then we heard Sports center on in the living room. He stopped midfuck when I started celebrating that my team won over his
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