Obama just said the words "we're all in this together." I wanted to start singing high school musical
I felt like I was in a real life creepy Myspace message. "girl u cute" ... "girl u got a really nice smile"
Ughh on my way to the bathroom now... literally just puked on myself and cleaned it off with a hot dog bun... I love tailgate
I wish the health center treadmills counted beers burned not calories
I feel like a need a fire hose to wash off what I did last night
Your one and only job is to make sure I am on that bus tomorrow morning with no cat makeup on my face
Drunk you is everything I aspire to be in life.
She kept saying the tortilla understood her. I honestly don't know where she found a tortilla at the pool.
First highlight of the semester: campus safety caught me peeing in the dirt parking lot by kappa. Then as they were about to write me up, they recognized me, laughed, and left.
I just fell out of my doorway to go to class so if that doesn't describe how my night went idk what will
My cat just smacked my blunt from my hand and then put her head in my hand. I don't know how to feel
He called out my ex's name during sex.
Alex is a pretty common unisex name.
It was the same Alex. I asked.
My ex boyfriend just amazon primed me a vibrator...guess I seemed stressed?
You know, finding my first grey pube at 34 is FAR more distressing than finding that first grey hair at 13.
I DO NOT FUCKING WANT OR NEED THIS INFORMATION!
When you called me I said did you make it home. You said yeah. Then you said you didn't know where you were. I said you were at home and you said but where. I said you are in the bathroom. Then you said oh, you're so smart lol
Randomize
