Making out with married ex girlfriends: priceless
i just saw a white kid with an afro using a martini shaker as a coffee thermos. go college.
can someone explain to me why i woke up under a twister sheet
totally worth getting kicked out for trying to throw my drink on lindsay lohans ankle bracelet.
Its only.eleven and we are already chasing a man on a bike with a bag full of burger king
this is worse than the time i threw up a condom.
If you're not on crutches for breakfast, I'll feel like I've failed you.
can we just pause for one second and address the fact that balls were out last night
That's good. Don't want to see you bellydancing in prison for homemade wine.
I'm beginning to think that women just have dogs at home as an excuse to leave ASAP after hooking up, without sounding like a typical guy.
When he was going down on me I referred to him as "Lord Snow" and HE GOT IT. HE GOT THE GAME OF THRONES REFERENCE. I AM IN LOVE
I threw up in a wendys bag in her car. when i went to throw it out the window it exploded all over me. No I don't think there will be a second date.
I AM A GOOD PERSON AND THEREFORE I DESERVE QUALITY DICK!
I remember that. We went to taco bell looking for pizza.
Now, I know I say this a lot, but you've obviously never seen my penis.
Randomize
