Our relationship is like that beach boys song "help me Rhonda" and I'm fucking Rhonda. And Rhondas's the whore in case you've never heard it.
fucking a dude
i mean: fucking a, dude
wow, that comma made all the difference there
I think I know how big ted kennedy's penis is.
found POGS while I was cleaning my room this morning. Definitely bringing them back to school to turn into a drinking game.
He screamed "Hug me!" and dove into the bushes. How he gets laid every weekend is beyond me.
My nephew just told me I smell like apathy and regret. Thats the hangover I'm dealing with
I feel like death gave me a hand job
pretend your vagina is a choco taco and the guy is someone who really loves choco tacos. let him enjoy the choco taco.
I've made my dad a martini every night since I was 13.. I got this
Just smoked pot with a guy who has apparently been living in the woods for over a month. He just walked out of the woods. This is not real life.
She had sex in a public bathroom and slept on a couch in the dorm lobby. It's only Monday
OUR DIABOLICAL SLUT PLAN HATH COMMENCED!
THANKS BE TO BLACK BABY JESUS IN HIS LITTLE GOLDEN DIAPER FOR BLESSING ME WITH NOT PREGNANT
she's my really slutty friend i bring around so i can act slutty and not feel as bad about it
yeah, last night we handcuffed you and you started crying saying that you weren't a bad person
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