In line at the arbys drive thru on foot. Legendary.
"Does your mom know how big your cock is?" Worst dirty talk I've ever had.
I have a drinking game planned. Were gunna watch empire records. Everytime they say rex manning we have to take a shot
sooo my mom just yelled up the stairs " you left your bowl down by the computer"....aaand for a second I forgot cereal bowls still existed
is election day enough of a holiday to justify getting fucked up on a tuesday?
he went to have surgery in the morning and apparently they found lip gloss on his dick
you never texted me what you wanted from the store so I got a piece of chicken and bottle of tequila. if you want anything else you are on your own.
nothing like a call from your drunk grandpa at midnight on a wednesday to ask your parents if you're registered to vote...
Well am going to a strip club before sun down, I dont think anything good can come from that.
You've fucked so many I should get a word bank when you make me guess these things.
I just fist bumped God in my head for last night. What a bro.
I did way too many drugs this past week for having a broken nose #commitment
You have to get it done early. Like a dick drive by. Hit it and run.
Pornhub is actually a very wholesome website
I’m sorry I pressured you for dick pics.
Randomize
