i felt like we were having sex on ultimate fighter, and people on the outside kept yelling ELBOW ELBOW! KNEES KNEES!
I love how understanding people are when they hear we first hooked up getting high and watching nature shows
Awesome. My fame will spread to DC... As will the herpes.
shes still here... layin in my bed watching a beyonce concert on tv drinking leftover franzia straight outta the bag and crying
Oh and probably wearing a life jacket instead of clothes didn't help things either
Sincerely would love to tap that, on a mountain with the wind blowing on your pubes .
i ended up playing naked naked monopoly and hangman with my dealer. i really love my life.
We were in the middle of fucking and she was just like "Do ya wanna play Harry Potter Scene It?" I musta been really bad lol Anyways, her tattoo healed nicely.
Going to be a long day. text me later. Sorry I puked in your sink.
On the plus side I'm getting really good at painting the inside of a toilet with my bowels.
we managed to melt a few different forms of plastic into the cannibutter....
How about we just have a naked taco night instead?
.......he just venmo charged me for the burrito I was eating while he broke up with me
so i was about to call you for your birthday but then i started making out with this guy... and i feel bad but i felt like you'd understand
I'm gonna write a book entitled "when you give a cop a cookie..."
I don't even want to know.
Randomize
