Like worst hickies ever he always gives them like wtf
Blackout barefoot maybe pregnant
Good decisions....
Just got blue box Mac and cheese things are looking up
she said, "is it ok if I touch it?" that's when I knew I was in trouble... I knew she was a virgin but seriously..
she told me her two favorite things were grocery stores and dick.
I woke up after 12 hours of being wildly intoxicated, got jizz on my face, and woke up in a different bed than I passed out in. My makeup is still perfect. I'm writing Revlon a thank you note.
It's not every day you get to see a girl fuck herself with a pickle.
I bruise way too easily for the kind of rough sex I want...
hell no. last time, i couldn't pee straight for a week.
But Alex is drunk in Philly and I told him to come see me so that's "first-love,-drunk,-high,-and-it's-a-snow-day-hook-up-with-an-ex" points. 69
Dude between pissing everywhere and all of those frogs, that bathroom got wrecked.
My god. His mom just smacked my ass. Does this mean I'm accepted??
Did I change midway through last night?
Seven times. The most notable outfits were UFC Fighter and Top Hat Viking
Ones vagina should not have the same slogan as a can of Pringles.
In other news, I tore a tendon in my hand from giving my boyfriend handjobs so that's how my day is going
The last thing I remember saying was "Tequila for all!!"
If you count the sounds from the room down the hall....that was definitely NOT the last thing that came out of your mouth.
Randomize
