Fuck appropriateness.
Congratulations on your moose knuckle.
Thank you. Really, it was an honor just being nominated.
yeh she's definitely getting a ham and plan b omelette in the morning
i told him i was sober and he walked away immediately.
You broke a window with your face. I don't think the landlord will be as impressed as we were.
we ate a 40 pack of string cheese and watched an entire washing machine cycle.
Just did my hair and make up at mcdonalds so we're in the same boat.
I figured out plans for New Year's and by figuring out I mean I've got a sugar bowl of cocaine. Start at 10?
Shit. I'm running the whole hotel right now. The front desk girl had to run home because she left her vibrator on the counter and her brother, mom, and grandmother surprised her and are showing up to her place before she gets off work. This will end badly no matter what.
So hungover. Have a black eye from where I tried to brush my teeth and stabbed myself in the eye instead. Should make the performance review I was stress drinking about go so much better.
I bet, I woke up to you like naked at 4 in the morning shoving a sandwich in your face
How weird would it be for me to get 1 hour photos printed at CVS of my partially or all nude?
So you're not opposed to us ever having sex again? Because it just seems like such a waste to let a penis like yours go.
Some mornings I close deals. Other mornings I puke out my window while I’m driving down the highway
Good thing he's hot and my vagina likes him or I'd be at Dennys right now.
Randomize
