You would only drink if the space jam soundtrack was playing, you thought it was hilarious that before every shot you said "y'all ready for this".
He's a navy seal. He can stick it anywhere he wants.
you blew your rape whistle in his face every time he got near a girl till he left the party...
She crushed my hand with the box spring last time, so it's all good.
She was pretty drunk. It was like watching a puppy explore the world for the first time.
He gave me a trycicle he stole from a kid as an "offering" to have sex. I couldnt say no when he went through all that.
Apparently she saw two women get in a slapping match over a comforter at target yesterday. She said it was awesome. Clearly I take after her.
I don't know what I'm more pleased with, the blowie last night or that fact that there's still 20 dollars in my wallet
It was like we had a conversation with our eyes.
Was it a good conversation?
It was an awkward, sexual conversation.
I just haymakered a dude with my face, can we talk about ME for a second and not the guy I fought?
i just looked at those "hey" messages and i was so confused and then i remembered we were practicing texting with our tongues.
Btw, I feel the need to make sure we have no misunderstanding about this. So here goes. I'll happily mess around with you again. However, I probably won't do it while you're dressed like a creepy clown. Or any clown.
Ultimate fat girl moment: I promised him my mouth for the night if he bought me a funnel cake..
Twist bend and done? Jesus that sounds like a seventh grade hand job.
I don't fucking know. He perched his parrot on his dick. I left after that.
Randomize