I just peed in my kitchenbs sinlk. New low- maybe. am i embarrassed? Not in the least
You would only drink if the space jam soundtrack was playing, you thought it was hilarious that before every shot you said "y'all ready for this".
No joke. Last we saw of him he was naked and dragging that stupid goat into the bushes.
This kind of poor decision making requires a real cup, not a mason jar.
So it turns out my dad calls his penis "John" which means he either named me after his penis or his penis after me
coming out of a blackout being surrounded by Disney police was not as awesome as it sounds.
i tried to knight her with my dick. she said it was unromantic. what an ungrateful attitude for a knight.
For public speaking we have to bring an object that describes us to class. Can't decide if I wanna bring a flask or a shot glass.
I'be color coordinated the clothes in my closet and my underwear drawer. I'm like an advertisement for house arrest. Help.
I just stood on my roof naked pouring vodka onto my garden. sweet dreams
I mean I sucked his dick at 3 AM... UNDERWATER. I think I have earned a follow back on twitter.
My mom comes home from her weekend with her lesbian co-workers and asks "You wanna know how I got these bruises?" I've never been more torn about anything EVER.
He was 6'5 and wearing a kilt, how could I not fuck him
Since when is my clitoris pierced?
this vacation is helping with my sexual bucket list so much. threesome, deaf guy, and outdoor sex all accomplished.
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