I told her I would melt her with my mustache. Needless to say, he pants were soon off.
I didn't think her British accent was real until I saw how fucked up her teeth were.
Just did lines off a tackle box. Love Montana.
his mom called while we were having sex and asked if we could finish in his brothers room because her ceiling fan was about to fall on her bed
You tried to get me to kick my booty call out at 3am by tempting me with a trip to ihop
Smoked a Vape in the library status: completed
FRIENDSHIP PRAYER: May the crabs of 1,000 whores infest the crotch of the person who fucks up your day
He would come to class in wrapped in nothing but a pink towel
I had to write an apology letter to my roomate for hotboxing in our bathroom. What a bitch.
I vaguely remember losing my underwear to 2 chicks in a bathroom. That drunk.
Quick, I need a picture of your dick. Don't ask questions, just show me your genitals.
I thought I'd never say this, but if I had to choose between these cookies and sex, it would be these cookies
He doesn't understand the concept of a strip club. He keeps falling in love
last night someone said that theyd like to do drugs with a dolphin ... judging from the diagram on the wall we figured it out.
all we need now is a dolphin ... and some drugs.
Will exercising make me less horny?
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