At my boss' house at a bbq. Had a few beers. Taking a poop - there's no TP...this is my nightmare.
1 stripper is 160/hr. 2 strippers is 280/hr. it would be fiscaly irresponsible to only get one.
you know the rule: 3 consecutive asian hookups makes you an asian fetish guy, no exceptions
I think I would be able to remember how to smoke but I can't seem to remember how to breathe.
...he tried to burn down someone's house once. ABORT ABORT ABORT
I got stood up on a date. They are singing "dancing with myself" on karaoke in my honor.
I feel like I have heartburn in my nipples.
he's definitely still old enough to be your dad. even your grandfather, if you come from a line of juvenile delinquents
I need a new best friend. Someone who drinks like a fish, hooks up enough to raise eyebrows, and isn't afraid to admit that masturbation is the second best way to spend time. Someone like me! Help me put up posters.
What happened after I vommed in your shirt that I was wearing and threw it out the window on the highway?
She couldn't find her toothbrush so I had to wait while she sucked on the 12 peppermints she found under the couch. Pretty resourceful for her level of intoxication.
we f'd six times
f'd?
its sunday, i cant say fucked
Can I make sure all my sluttiness goes to you when I die? You're the only person I know who'll make use of it
Okay so as of now, we may either be coming for one night, two nights, or not at all this weekend. It depends on Laura's toe and if I get my period. Will explain later
He has an 8 pack! HE HAS AN 8 PACK!!!!
Randomize
