I KNOW you don't honestly think you can pay me back in lotto tickets.
the best job he will get is a sex ed teacher in alabama
Yeah, it was all fun and games until I realized that it wasn't my tent, and I had no idea who those people were
I hate drunken dyslexia, i thought she said "someone to do" not "something to do" long story short i now have a restraining order.
she just threw a smoke bomb in an elevator and ran down 9 flights of stairs to see it at the bottom.
he tried to convince me he was a seal.. sound effects included. and then asked me to 'be his lady seal'.
Also, just almost microwaved cereal. Thank god mom is here to stop me.
Don't talk about his dick. That's mine. There's a copyright on it. Use with permission
Ur gonna wake up early as dick tomorrow to do some responsible shit but im the one up at 3 am right now cooking brats soaked in keystone light so fuck your falling asleep ass bitch
I have a hunch Mama J got around.
Am I allowed to say that about my own mom?
Frankly, since I met you, I practically exist in a state of constant readiness for sex
Yeah but if you conceived a child on a park slide that would be pretty awesome
when I was walking home I wad so excited to see a cat on the sidewalk but it was really a traffic cone
I wasn't that gone.
Dude, you cried and said how sorry you were when we asked why you had the dip.
whatever. i just wanna get "forget my own name" wasted
no. you need to know your name so people know where to return you when you get lost.
Randomize
