why is jon gosselin on the news 24/7 for dating some new lady?? how bout I get on msnbc for not getting laid since forever ago
It was so romantic--he turned me around to face the sunset during doggy-style over the couch back.
Update. It gets worse. A) he's done viagra and B) he wears socks at all times.
I told the cop it was my birthday and he said "happy fuckin birthday", handcuffed me and threw me in the back of the cop car.
I'm starting to think The only feelings I have anymore are drunk and hung over
you can't hurt those
Best morning ever. I saw a bum giving another bum a blowjob downtown.
He puked at the bar then immediately procceded to slip in it, they loaded him up into a wheelchair, then the staff and myself walked him outside, all the while never having to pay for our tab. SO using this strategy again
theres pictures of him knuckle deep in her, both of them thumbs up and cheesin. someone should take her kid away
You can't find true love with Budweiser and a futon
Look. If you get me out of this speeding ticket you can bang my sister. Or my mom. But not both.
I drank it. I drank the beer from '78. I drank my bday beer, I drank my soul
I know it's like I wanna bring somebody fun who I haven't drunkenly expressed my feelings for. Or hooked up with. It's a struggle.
I'm sitting here listening to fat joe and doing kegels I have given up
No you just wanted to pass out in your hallway because your room was too far away
Arrived home from picking Mom and Nana up at the airport to find Marc buck ass nude beneath the Christmas tree. Nana says she always knew I was queer.
Randomize
