i just got a Mexican deported. not sure how to feel.
please take me off your list of people to text when you don't want to drink by yourself.
almost passed out on the way to class today.. laid down in a construction site. bad idea
I'm leaving my hospital band on when we go drinking tonight. I'm aiming for pity sex.
The only thing I really remember is repeating "I hope I still have a job on Monday". Oh and pulling my boob out of my dress.
So I take it the company Christmas dinner went well then...
He decided not to draw dicks on my face when I passed out because he was afraid I'd retaliate and superglue his dick to his stomach....he knows me too well.
Freedom, beauty, truth, and love to all. I also probably have syphilis
I'm not afraid to fist fight your child if I feel he is standing in between me and some tacos.
I should probably go to bed before I start to care about why I started drinking in the first place.
I have a fever. Last thing I need to do tonight is be elbow deep in old lady pussy.
So im waiting for someone at grand central and i look up AND THE ENTIRE BALCONY IS FILLED WITH BOY SCOUTS I AM TERRIFIED
I need a costume
Dude just wear a bra or something hahaha
All i really remember is meeting this guy dressed as jesus and i kept taking his wine and saying "the body of christ!"
I also woke up in my friends room to 3 girls and a naked boy on the floor but thats besides the point
he sent me a green and gold dick pic and advised me I needed to come drive the snake from Ireland.
I feel like you should store your weed in something that suits your personality. For example mines in a hollowed out disney princess book.
Randomize
