i can juggle bunnies
cool
on fire
Im so hungover
Come over i have rolls
Ecstasy rolls or Challah rolls?
we sang "a whole new world" together. either he's my gay best friend or the love of my life.
Just spun two beer bottles and Placed them in my pockets perfect... I feel like the clint eastwood of drunks
Judging by the fact that my hair was glued to my head with vomit, yeah I think I couldve used a friend last night
successfully started a charcoal grill with 2 shots of everclear and some aluminum foil. i never wanna leave here
Tell nick i'm sorry for throwing a block of cheese at him last night
your drunk ass trust falled a guy double fisting bud limes and as a result your head bounced off the patio table. So that might explain the stitches on the back of your head.
I'm 25 and she is 19. She wants to practice blowjobs on me because of my stamina. Not only does the GI bill pay for me to go to school I am teaching a freshman blowjob course. I love Texas.
it went ok. then he slept in a parking lot and took me out for a picnic the next day. boys are confusing.
You thought there were zombies attacking us so you tried to tuck and roll out of a moving vehicle. Also you should consider wearing underwear
You wanna see what happens when frozen corn meets an unhappy Andrew's face?
My vagina is very pro this idea
where are you guys?
stoned at his house watching water boil
Slowly dying because of my period and my phone is mocking me because I have 69% battery
Randomize