do you know mcdonalds refuses to give out large cups of water now? you have to buy a bottle or they give you a small cup. No exceptions.
RUDE.
I said FINE, then I'd like 7 small waters and 2 of those nifty carrying cases to carry about my h2o.
outsmarted mickey deeeees
So does your leg always twitch violently when someone plays with your clitoris? Or has my ten years of piano playing finally paid off?
My cha cha got a haircut
thank god. going down on you was like chewing on astroturf
It's a good thing i didn't end up pregnant...i would have had to figure out his last name.
You obviously dont comprehend the level of insane i operate at
you did a full monologue with your sober self last night. different voices and everything.
He's gotta be able to drive a truck, make me mac n cheese and give me the best orgasms. That's my perfect man
You also hate cartoons and musicals, so I will take that to mean the movie was as awesome as I thought it was..smoke weed
Please write a memoir and name it "Game Boy and Dick Stuff"
Man, you got so high you own goaled yourself in FIFA then got up celebrating.
It's all fun and games until you rupture a testicle
6 more days and it'll be a year since i slept with him and never went home
I just realized how terrible that was... I was drumming on your penis to a song about Baby Jesus.
screwing the intern at work sucks when u find out the boss is too. She is a smoking hot though
Yeah but now he has a wife. It’s going to be different this year
So what. We’ve banged every Thanksgiving since high school. She just has to understand it’s a holiday tradition
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