I really don't want to move...I'm having a motivation problem.
kev is about to show us pictures of the tranny he accidentally fucked last night.
I'll be there in 10
Over it. He probably jacked off to bible verses last night. I don't want that
I was just given a safe word. It's going it be an interesting night.
i just spent 10 minutes talking to the lady who works at taco bell about my romantic situation.
He told her, Don't talk. Just sit there so I can imagine that you have the kind of personality I wish you had.
there are ass prints on the hood of my car.
The more I stare at her and block out what she's actually saying with thoughts of what she could be saying, the more interested I become
I just compared drinking to love. How do these people not know I'm an alcoholic?
Every time I roll over in bed I land on a different vibrator. I feel I'm the only one with this problem.
He doesn't deserve you. Your ass looks 8 times better than his face ever will. Wanna order pizza and watch porn?
You don't marry someone you don't want to fuck senseless this is 2014 dammit
Just scratched my head and I basically rained glitter.
Please don't explain what tea bagging is to my mother.
I'm at a sex party and there's a guy in an ICP jersey and trip pants. I see now that this is the moment in the movie of my life I recognize I have a problem
Nate is still in lock up because when the cop informed me he'd shit his pants in the squad car I declined to post bail.
Randomize
