I wanna crawl in your skin and have dreams about Bobby Kennedy tonight.
saw you had $9 in your checking acct, left $20 on your dresser so you won't be a whore this weekend
...i apologize for hitting you up so much tonight im just kinda in a little pickle. im going to sleep in my car near u so pretty plz lmk if you head home...
"what do u think of parents raising kids to be peeping toms" said guy on bus 2 me
she gave me one of her senior pics and told me specifically to give it to you. In other words she still wants to suck your dick.
I just threw up in a patch of wild flowers on the side of the road. I never knew rock bottom was so beautiful.
for future reference: even when 4 loko is flat it still fucks you up. im near a tree. come find me.
Drunk me was responsible for doing it, but sober me was definitely cheering him on
You kept challenging people to a cartwheel contest...when someone finally agreed, you cartwheeled into some chicks face, then tried to propose to her as an apology. Fyi, she said no
I'm 11 for 13 getting drunker than the person who's birthday it is
Just puked off the 5th floor onto a car windshield. This is my life and I'm proud of it.
Lying naked in bed eating carrot cake of off my bare breasts while watching Family Guy. Tonsilitis isn't all bad!
you know what? fuck you, fuck your nana, and ESPECIALLY FUCK THE BLACKHAWKS.
Pretty sure I'm partying in a onesie right now.
Can you see if my straightener is in your refrigerator?
Yes. Its here..
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