i blew a .213 what kind of thug blows the compton area code exactly? this guy
And there might be a gallon of sangria without the lid on the floor in your room. Just be careful when you open the door.
All I remember is lecturing my dog about how she's a lucky bitch to have a structured eating and shitting schedule.
nothing worse than walking out of class after 3 hours and having covered exactly zero information
walking out with herpes. that would be worse
We aren't really supposed to respect our bodies til our mid twenties.
What if our hands were octopus tentacles?
You're an idiot.
okay - we take $20 and buy each other some 'drink till we puke' clothes from the thrift store.
She brought over her portable harddrive and we dueled with porn. This relationship is too beautiful to last.
reason #326 why I'm still single.... my date just told me there's a little boy ghost that lives in his closet because he likes his music.
Of course, you have to give the courtesy text like last night when I told you my dick was gonna smell like peppermint
I fucked your neighbor. Welcome to the new apartment!
My neighbour just came round to ask why we posted a spatula through his door at 3am. What do I tell him??
wait you like me?? for my personality??
I know I was surprised too
My law teacher drew an elephant on the board in class. I was so high that I laughed for 5 minutes straight. Nobody else laughed and everyone stared. 130 people knew I was high.
I just found glitter glue on my jesus bracelet...am I really that gay?
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