If immigrants and dwarves find love, why can't I?
imagine if the morning after your status automatically updated with the name of the person you hooked up with
I HAVE A PIGEON IN MY JACKET.
The countdown is at hand. We are 15 days from so much Jameson that names will be forgotten. Prepare your liver now or severe projectile vomiting will be the theme of the night.
We waved. But it was a "let's hook up" wave.
You come home the day the world is supposed to end. Well played Mayans.
Pretty sure that molly fried my sinus infection away; i regret nothing
Just casually ripping a bowl in the chicken coop, with the chickens. NBD
Oh my god and he smells like heaven wrapped in a beard of knowledge
I'm not THAT invested in seeing you to an orgasm
I just remembered I made you punch yourself in the face last night and I would like to formally apologize for that even though it was hilarious.
My roommate just threatened to kill me with my own pan. Can I ever get away from the crazies?!
I like your optimism Chelsea but I'm not about getting my salad tossed
Fuck me I smell like cheese
Don't get mad at me now, you have my car and all the doughnuts
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