if you dont talk to me in person you cant text me
TXT her NOW! The phone is actually IN her Va-Jay-Jay!!
I've been watching too much manswers. Cuz i know scissoring doesn't work on a motorcycle.
he asked me if i "normally slept like that" because i was curled up in a ball facing the wall. then he told me that i woke up in the middle of the night and said "oh my god. i forgot you were here." how did he not understand that i didn't want him in my bed.
Best. Handjob. Ever.
I'm guessing Kelly is over?
Nope. Home alone.
making out was so insane. it felt like our tongues were paintbrushes made of waves and we were painting an ocean galazy
we were sitting on his couch watching tv and laughing at how funny the voices on the commercial were, then we realized the volume wasn't on.
i finally decided to cut him off after he he looked me dead in the eyes and said "how have i been inside you for the past twenty minutes when my pants are still on?"
He refused to pierce my nipples, saying they are the best he's ever seen and that blemishing them would be a crime
I want my birthday to be like the hunger games where all the contenders for my vaj have to fight each other off to win the prize
Can I have the second place winner?
I like her because we want the same things out of life AND she actually wants to have sex with me.
Nothing says I'm committed to you for all eternity like letting him wear crocs to the wedding
He forehead kissed me AND THEN asked what I was thinking. I'm taking away his man card.
i guess "never drinking again" is not an option when you invent a whole new level of drunk...
I would offer you moral support, but I have questionable morals..
Randomize
