i wanna do a homemade sex video in sepia and pretend were in the early 20th c
are you looking for your table cloth? Cause I found it around my neck this morning...
His room was full of guns. It was like having sex with Clint Eastwood.
He may or may not be blacked out. We put him to sleep in the community bathroom. He's wrapped in your blanket and he's already puked on it twice. Using your blanket was my idea. Maybe next time you'll ask before taking my vodka.
Just took my birth control pill next to the cubicle where we had sex last semester.
It's a bathroom floor kind of morning.
I want to get so drunk, you will need subtitles to understand me. Rough week.
I WILL PAPERCUT YOUR URETHRA YOU DO NOT STEAL A MANS SECOND BIG MAC
Car is still out of commission. Looks like it's Grape Nuts and scotch for dinner.
He plays guitar, sings like an angel, and acts like a gentleman. If I don't fuck him by the end of first semester, I'm dropping out
He made her leave because she liked Top-Ramen better than Maruchaun. He's my hero.
I'll be an awkward "I've had the grooms penis in my mouth" presence and we can party our nipples off.
I think you threw up on me last night but i can't remember so i'm not mad at you.
don't take this the wrong way, but I'm not drunk but I need you to take me to the ER and you're the most likely to not be drunk now.
I fucked a 6 foot tall guy who has abs showing without even flexing... I am a wizard and I have magical powers.
Randomize
