i can't wait to go to hell
yeah...all of my friends will be there for sure
he told us the story of how he fought ketchup, mustard, and thomas the train engine all in one night. if that doesn't sound like an acid trip i dont know what does.
There isn't a single transaction on my online bank account that doesn't involve drugs or alcohol since November 12
definitely not taking the whole return culture shock so well...drinking a 100 proof rootbeer vodka float out of a german beer mass
I hope it's socially acceptable to wear a mesh one piece into last call tonight?
The notification you get from snapchat that someone took a screenie is like a formal declaration of blackmail.
I'm ready to get married, then we can lie around watching anime and eating pizza while he rubs baby oil on me
Drinking from the bottle. In bed. Making dinosaur noises. Oh man.
I don't need no damn man when I have the cock-a-nator 2000.
I feel like I could have been bitchier and missed an opportunity.
I was supposed to go on a date tonight but I cancelled because I found out the Lizzie McGuire movie is on Netflix.
nyquil+orgasm=very intense and oddly interesting
He’s really fucking cute. Like, I want his penis in my mouth cute.
Something is wrong here. The birds are chirping and I'm not fucking you, I'm not getting head and I don't smell bacon. Why am I up this early then?
If I hear that song one more time I will drive to hell and make John Lennon eat my ass.
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