I'm going to jail i love you
my weekend in 10 words or less: hot friend of a friend, open bar, beach house, sore. In that order too.
That fat broad you banged out last night is still here and I can hear her snoring through the living room wall. I would leave, but I don't want to come home to an empty fridge.
bro i finally banged her last night on our basement couch
I'm at this frat party right now and yelled "my little 16 year old brother finally lost his virginity." They gave you a standing ovation
It's never too late to be topless.
Ohhh. Its been awhile. Vending machine hotel condoms are $15 here who can afford to not get herpes?
how are you shocked you fucked her? sure shes hot, but she also washed your beerpong balls in her mouth..... you should probably get tested.
Well his ex just grabbed his dick and told him yep Ill call u later
Hey ER girl, its the EMT you beat at blowjobs shots last night.
That is the scariest sentence I have ever read.
I now have a full length bright red cape in my possession. Best sex trophy ever.
Fell asleep in the library, woke up because I almost let out a sleep fart. That was close.
I woke up naked with a $20 bill taped to my titty, so I must of had fun.
Gonna try and have sex in the empire state bldg, will tell you how it goes
He was talking about his friends deceased ferret and I still managed to orgasm.
Now THAT is dedication!
just licked the cheese off a burger. that high.
Randomize
