your room smells of hookers.
And success
i was unaware that anal sex sometimes ends with shit on the bed.
so how was last night?
got high and had our usual talk about the definition of cole slaw. then tried to call the ramen noodle company and convince them why my face should be on thier packages.
Oddly enough when I decided to stop whoreing myself out... I lost most of my companionship.
i may have reached my "but im high so it's cool" quota for the month.
I was just informed that you are the reason for my 2 missing front teeth.
If you're trying to piece together your night, I can tell you where those tassels came from.
I feel like our low point of the night was when we had to start chasing with ice cubes and wheat thins.
Sorry, they don't make maternity Power Ranger suits...
In a shocking revelation, I learned that the Easter Sunday shit show happened not because of vodka but because my gay neighbor drugged me.
I just threw in a dip with a guy that superglued his fake tooth back in today. My life is complete.
Everything was going well until he very loudly said that he wanted to cum on my fingernails.
I just got a girl to make out with me just by saying "get at me." Get at me
Haha I wasn't coming anyway. I'm watching Snow White and don't want to put pants back on. Those are completely unrelated. Have a good night.
There’s an entire generation of people out there who didn’t grow up watching Mr. Rogers and it shows. These Boomers need to get their shit together.
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