Betty ford says i'm here all night
quit re-tweeting John McCain's tweets
Random 1st period thought: do you think she could put "had a threesome" on her resume?
so he must've not known that your lastname is Came because everytime someone would say your name he would scream "NO SHE DIDNT" to the whole party. He must've not been too good then either.
just bought a $25 eighth from a chick who has a kid. i'm helping my community out right?
passed a homeless guy with a sign that read "420 vetran" we gave him a bowl of bud
I had to rush to my room and get my vibrator off my bed i didn't want him to know how long it's been since I had a decent fuck.
All I wanted was a "this is what America feels like" blowjob before I left. Is that too much to ask for?
Hypothetically speaking, what is the proper response if one gets bitten by a most likely not rabid squirrel? Hypothetically.
i'm gonna fuck his crew, i'm gonna wax my asshole. i'm gonna make them all cry tears of sex joy then move to colorado.
Just thought you should know the man you CHOSE to father your children has once again fallen asleep on the toilet. thanks mom
You live 7 mins away and I'm leaving in 10 mins. At this point sex before work is impossible.
Challenge accepted. Be naked in 6 mins.
I told her I'd rather set my hair on fire than sleep with her again. In retrospect, that was probably too harsh. My eye is still swollen shut.
Getting a lap dance from a girl you went to high school with really isn't as awkward as you'd think
And she called me out by name, nothing could have made it more awkward but it ended up not being that bad
What's your fascination with fucking to the Lion King Soundtrack?
Randomize
