Are you guys doing anything tonight?
Krysta
I realized today that the only reason you made out with Travis is because he has nice teeth
I just saw someone marching around outside wearing only a loincloth, dragging a fuckton of sheet metal. Spring has Sprung.
he was terrible at kissing, so i just kept letting him motorboat me. he seemed very pleased with my choice
I've thrown up twice at work. Just casually, in the mop sink. Then continued to make someone a milkshake. Want some ice cream?
I just passed a truck with its bed lined with a tarp and filled with water with six dudes chilling in the back driving through campus. That looks fun.
you strike me as the kind of person who when they spill something on their lap they take off their pants and eat it anyways. right off the crotch seam.
All I see when I think of you are dancing penis angels around your head.
It started with a wedding, followed by a drag show, and ended with Trevor getting punched in the face by the bouncer. How was your weekend?
I tried to suck your dick underwater and almost drowned
i just had diarrhea that people from the 1930's would have died from
He stopped me in the middle of a blow job to call his grandma for her birthday.
At least he has family values.
Stupid adulating
Yeah it sucks, but at least I can buy wine so it all comes out in the wash
What's the plan?
Not sure. I think I'll take a dump on his windshield.
Like, my vagina is jet-lagged.
Randomize