I wish I has some fucking Fairy God Parents, I want a kit kat so bad.
not only did i climb through the window at 4 am but here i am 4 hours later for my interview at the mall and i'm staring in the dark pet store barking at puppies
imagine if we didn have a dick. we would be so much more productive
I mean I had a leg brace. It would have been irresponsible for me to be on top.
apparently i told her i wouldn't press charges if she brought me food.
Maybe shotgunning 4 days after oral surgery wasn't such a good idea after all...
Im so excited to get permanently banned for life from all the old bars again, it is gonna be christmas after all
Wow, im gonna be a great doctor..."hi let me save your life but first check out this pic of me deep throating a handle of grey goose"
I call BS on that! THAT WAS TOTALLY AN INTERCEPTION. JENNINGS HAD THAT.
PEOPLE ARE FLIPPING FURNITURE HERE. IN THE ROOM ABOVE ME. I HEARD SOMEONE WOOKIE CALL IN ANGER FROM SOMEWHERE IN THIS BUILDING.
I'd be lying if I said I wasn't scared, even a little.
This guy is walking around with a deer head on. Honestly what the fuck
How did you get him out of the shower last time?
Order Taco Bell and leave a trail of burritos leading to his bed.
Ok she stopped using her fork and knife and is legit eating that steak using her hands.
No, the high point was when you stood on a chair and shouted you were the god of tits and wine.
Also- should we send out holiday cards? That say, "Eat a dick, 2014"?
He just got out of surgery, almost died from shooting him self with an arrow.
Randomize
