i don't know her name but she is cooking me brkfst then helpin me find my car.
she hot?
i don't wanna talk about it
the power's out. i'm smoking weed by flashlight
i wish i was dedicated to anything like you are to weed
Im forcing mysellf to pee so i can fit more margaritas in me...
Its like fucking yourself in the head with a weed strapon
And by hung out you mean you were in my bed for 5 minutes while your penis was in my mouth.
It's official drugs can't kill me
Dude, I just had the best sex of my life in a porta potty at the NCAA girls lax championships but didn't get her name or number. But I have her sunglasses. How is this possible, I'm sad.
I love your life.
I think you were giving a sex seminar on your kitchen table last night.
Just found weed in my belly button. Happy Saturday!
You're worse than that girl who made out with her cousin at that party
That was you...
He's like a father figure to me, except we have casual drunk sex every now and then
Wanna have a sleepover and take me to court in the morning?
Should I go bust a nut on the beach
I woke up with a twisted ankle and was covered in lube. Not entirely sure what happened last night
I could be doing way worse things besides texting him 'come over and bang my headache away'. i could be on meth
Randomize
