i know ur right I'm sorry I'm stupid and incompitent look I can't even spell incompetent right! Fuck!
Job is the problem. Drinking, the solution.
Some girl just toasted to friendship and love. I want to break her neck.
it's not our fault the pink and the sink are so close together.
I wish they made portable blow up dolls for girls.
It's called a dildo, genius. Go to sleep.
part of me always dies a little when i go to the "2 women seeking 1 man" section in craigslist's casual encounters to find nothing there. it's tragic
they were just spraying pledge on themselves and calling it lemon cologne.
the boy next to me on the plane handed me a shot glass, then a perkaset, and told me to have a good week off..hellllo spring break.
Our cab driver just admitted to beating up kids in the 60's who didn't smoke pot...
When I say rough sex, and show you scars from past encounters, pulling my hair a little IS NOT GOING TO CUT IT. And he just doesn't understand.
Security said no more parties of this kind. To me that translates to Theme party this weekend.
Just be happy that you're the pretty friend. Otherwise you would have had to walk home alone, like me.
After what I experienced at 6am this morning, all I can say is chew your noodles thoroughly.
after you got high, you started to make guac with your bare hands and said: "there's soda bubbles in my legs"
We had sex on the tiger blanket while I was wearing my Ukrainian shirt and my ass touched the Ukrainian flag. Happy 25th Ukraine!
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