he only lasted 2 minutes. he said it was because i was so pretty. i'm not sure what to feel right now.
hearing that almost makes me feel good about peeing on the coffee table
we have 69 mutual friends...i have to add her
So I realized I'm not completely sober when the automatic toilet flushed and I screamed
I woke up and he was just feeling up my stomach. I felt like buddha and he was rubbing my belly for good luck. never again.
IDK DUDE BUT HE TIED IT WITH A SHOELACE SO I GOTTA FREE SHOELACE OUTTA THE DEAL. THIS GIVES A NEW MEANING TO LACED DRUGS
As soon as the clock wound down to zero, she declared "HALF-TIME HEAD" and pulled down my pants. After the swallow, she said "BEER CHASER," got me a new one, and asked if she could make me a sandwich. Pretty sure she's lobbying hard for a ring.
We are all yelling at the cat at our apt in nothing but our underwear. How do you think it's going.
They way I see it is I've wasted 7 years of having these glorious tits. I only have about 3 good years left before idk kids or just gravity takes over and they don't look this nice so it's basically open season.
Just whatever you do, don't neglect the balls.
You kept ranting how Captain Planet is getting shortchanged in the superhero department. Other than that you kept it together
I've lost every trace of self esteem. Even sneaking a BJ in the coffee room has lost it's luster.
Currently looking up Winnie-the-Pooh porn.
Babe, Have you see my pants?
Try Jay street in Brooklyn.. that's where I last remember seeing them.
These snow days are takeing a toll on my liver
Randomize
