I know they r crazy. However porn on a big screen is an easy commitment. They come with mute, stop, fast fwd and replay buttons. if only all women came that way...
I'm about two and a half drinks away from gay.
I'm coming over.
Quoting wale wont save you from herpes
i was like hansel and gretel. i puked a trail from mcdonalds to our place so i could find my way back in the morning
Its name is Richard. And I think he formally introduced us.
Called my dealer in tears and we talked for an hour until I felt better. That's the way it should be.
He wrote me poetry. 12 hours after getting my number
i vomited out of my nose in three different houses so far, i will be back for my boots tomorrow
I think cutting a patient out of a owl costume is a first for those guys. It's a good story at least.
Cleaning my room at 2am, in just one corner I found six beers, half a pint of whiskey, my flask, 2 shotgun bullets, my crown and shimmer lotion.
Hey sorry for calling you so much last night. I mixed your number with the pizza guys, and he was running late
I think someone is dead in a car across the street
Scratch that, dude's getting a blow job
I just wiped my butthole and there was glitter down there.
she crawled a good forty meters just to whisper in my ear... "dildon't"
EMERGENCY SUBJECT CHANGE. SHE DOESN'T KNOW.
Randomize
