I am coming home for anal
* a nap*
tell your sister to shave her snatch
He quoted an N'sync song to confess his attraction to me. Needless to say, I had sex with him.
Now would be a great time to stop wondering " Who let the dogs out" and go to sleep
When we ran out of red solo cups we switched to Starbucks cups for beer pong... Who doesn't want to live in Seattle?
dude she was so drunk she thought Jim Joyce made the right call
in my defence, i did try to get you to put your shirt back on, then you screamed at me to stop telling you what to do
The forest. Magic mushrooms. Wind trees leaves sky. That is alll.
I'm so bored right now i'm literally Googleing all the possible ways to get high with household items as my mom is sitting in front of me..
In other news, shitting yourself is not an acceptable way to start a Thursday.
He changed his profile picture to him as a baby. Definitely a turn off. This will help in my "don't-be-a-slut-endeavors"
Woke up this morning with a darth vader helmet and a bath robe on with my toenails shitly painted
You have got to be the only man who has passed out while getting a lap dance.
why the hell did we go to a rave last night?
we didn't?
definitely went to a bar with strobe lights
JENNIFER. You passed out in a toilet with a color changing light in it.
If history is any guide, his morals are no match for my tits
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